Why Am I Still Single?
Sometimes it feels like it’s taking forever to find the right person. If you’re still single and lonely, could it be your own fault? Why does it take so long to find someone who is compatible and sparks your passion?
Melvin from Lincoln, NE writes:
“I’m almost thirty years old and I still don’t have a girlfriend. A lot of my friends are married and settled—and actually, come to think of it, ever since that happened, I haven’t had so many friends either, which is making it harder to meet new people. Why am I still single?”
It’s not at all unusual to still be single at your age. And you’re right—it gets harder and harder to meet new people, so the longer you’re single the harder it gets to actually hook up with someone great. One thing to keep in mind though is that half of all marriages end in divorce, and so finding the right person is more important than just finding someone. Your friends may be married, but half of them may well be back out there searching for someone new in a few years!
The other thing that can keep you from finding someone, though, is having expectations that are too high. By all means, have high expectations, but also accept that there’s no such thing as a perfect woman, and eventually you’ll need to come to terms with that fact. You can find someone who resembles your ideal and shares a lot in common with you, but she still won’t be the perfect woman. As long as you search for perfection, you will always miss what’s right in front of you.
Finally, you need to actually be in a position to meet new people. You won’t meet new people just sitting at home on your hands, though you might meet new people if you get online and start joining some dating sites. There are tons of people who are in your exact same situation. By getting online and making a dating profile, you may have a better shot at getting in touch with some of them and maybe even finding a really great woman to spend the rest of your life with.
Being single for a long time can be depressing, but you can look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Your experiences while you’re on your own can deepen who you are as a person, which in turn can help you to enjoy a more meaningful relationship when you do finally meet someone. Do your best to be the best person you can now, and live for the present. That way when you finally do meet the right person, she’ll recognize you because she’ll see all of your gifts. She may not recognize you for who you are if what she sees is someone who is depressed about his circumstances and feeling desperate. So take this time to improve yourself and don’t give up hope.