Online Dating Tips
Dating online has a lot of drawbacks; you can’t see the person you’re dating (unless you have a webcam), you can’t touch the person you’re dating, and you can’t go anywhere with the person you’re dating. So why date online? Our answer to Matthew, a reader from Missoula, MT, may shed some light.
Matthew from Missoula, MT writes:
“Hi. I’ve been trying to hook up with girls in my hometown for ages, but everyone I meet always seems so … random, like I’m trying to force a connection when all we have in common is our hometown. I’ve been thinking of dating online. Do you think it’ll help? Is there a real point to dating online?”
I definitely think it could help. Dating in person can be challenging even in a big city; in a small town it’s even harder since your selection pool is so tiny. The people you meet are limited by your geographical area, which may also limit the social and cultural viewpoints you encounter. If you don’t quite “fit in” that can make it even more challenging to find a good match where you live. The internet can open up a lot more opportunity since that gives you access to the rest of the world, complete with more diversity.
Another benefit of dating online, besides having a lot more people to choose from, is that in a way the Internet forces you to get to know someone a lot faster. When you meet someone in person, it can be tempting to engage in small talk for a short while—or a long while. That’s pretty dull online though since there’s no subtext or anything else to divert you. That being the case, many people cut past the weather and straight to the heart of what matters to them—straight to the heart actually. This isn’t always the case, and it’s not to say you might not get a well rounded view of a person, but it does apply in many cases. This can be a big aid in dating.
And then there’s the possibility of meeting offline eventually, and many times you can choose to extend your search to people only in your region, or only in your state. If you do this you have access to a lot more women, but you’ll still be talking to women you can feasibly meet in the near future if you’re both comfortable with the idea. I advise that any time you get serious about someone online, you do work out a way of meeting at some point in the future (near or far) before you invest yourself too deeply; even if there are obstacles, the intent should be there in most cases. Otherwise it can be easy to fall into complacency, illusion, or misunderstandings. Go ahead and sign up for some online dating sites and see what happens! You may well meet a fabulous woman very soon, and maybe she’ll live closer to you than you think.