My Relationship Is Boring
It happens to everyone—one day you wake up and realize that your relationship is stagnating and you’re bored. Does that mean the relationship is at its end, or that you should be doing something to try and revitalize it?
Janice from Corpus Christi, TX writes:
“I’ve been in a committed relationship for two and a half years, and while I love my boyfriend, my relationship has become boring. We do the same thing every day, and it just seems like all the fun and romance has gone out of our relationship. I find myself feeling restless, like maybe this isn’t for me anymore. Why is my relationship boring? How do I fix it? Should I even try, or should I move on?”
The first thing you need to know is this happens to everyone eventually in every relationship which lasts—it’s just part of life. Things stagnate and decay—especially human beings. Your relationship with your boyfriend may be more than the sum of its parts, but it all starts with just two people—you and him. So perhaps the question you should be asking yourself first is, ‘Am I boring?’
If you’re bored with yourself, then you’re going to be bored with your relationship. You say you wake up and do the same things everyday. Aren’t you one of the participants in that routine? If you are bored of the routine, why don’t you do something to liven things up a bit? If you’re stagnating as an individual, that’s going to reflect in everything you do and everything which is in your life, including your relationship. You might be wanting him to make the first step in improving the situation, but he may be feeling the same way, and something has to give.
Is it possible the relationship is the problem? Of course—that’s always a possibility. Maybe that is your situation—maybe it’s not. But you do say you love your boyfriend, and I don’t think you should be quick to throw that away—especially since you’re just going to encounter the same problem again with another person eventually. Or you may very well find yourself single and still bored.
Relationships need to grow, and to do that, the people in them need to grow. Since you love your boyfriend and want to fix the relationship, why not use that as a springboard for personal growth? As you grow and evolve, the relationship may well do the same. By curing your own stagnation you may well be able to put some spark back into the relationship. Don’t be afraid to let your boyfriend know how you feel if once you do that you still find the relationship is stagnating; you should express yourself and try and work toward a solution before abandoning the relationship. Communication is essential—but so is withholding blame. Do your part first and then see what happens. You may not even need to have the discussion at all.