How To Make Friends As A Couple
Trying to make friends is hard enough, but trying to make friends as a couple can be even more challenging. It’s tough enough to find someone who accepts you for who you are; finding someone who accepts you and that special someone in your life can be even harder. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, though. Here is our advice to Danny.
Danny from Missoula, MT writes:
“I’ve been living with my girlfriend for a few years now, and we have a really great relationship, but it seems like all the people we grew up with and went to school with have fallen out of our lives and we’re lonely. A lot of our friends didn’t really get along with us as a couple, even if they got on with us individually. How can we meet people we can both have fun with?”
Hi Danny. You are quite right; meeting people is sometimes tough, especially after school is over, so you’re not alone in that respect. And obviously if you’ve already met everyone at work, that’s not going to help either. The good thing about that is that it’s generally easier to befriend people as a couple if you meet people together anyway—otherwise all too often the relationship between your new friends and your girlfriend can become an obligatory connection instead of a real one. If you can, it’s best to make friends spontaneously together. Spontaneous doesn’t mean without hard work—it just means it’s easier if it’s both of you, and if others naturally gravitate to you simultaneously.
The good news is that lots of other people want to meet new friends too. You won’t make new friends by sitting around in your house or apartment, however, so you’ll have to get out there and put yourself in a public place on a regular basis. If you’re religious you can attend church or temple or similar; this is one way a lot of couples (and singles) meet others. If you’re not, you can try and pursue a common interest together. Do you both enjoy sports? Consider joining a local team or taking a class together. You can also attend classes for crafts or other hobbies. The people who you meet may have more in common with you than just the craft, hobby, sport, or interest which the class revolves around.
There are a lot of social clubs based around various interests as well. Social clubs are a good free opportunity to meet new people. There are online services which you can use to locate a club of interest near you. Many of these clubs, classes, and teams may have other couples who are members as well, and who will understand your desire to make friends together. Whatever you do, don’t give up on a social life just because it’s hard work. After school there is simply no easy way of meeting others. That doesn’t mean there aren’t other people out there trying to meet nice people like you, though. Good luck!