How To Get Your Ex Back
We’ve all been there at some point—you said something stupid to your girlfriend, and now that wonderful gal has strolled right out of your life. How can you get her back? Michael, a reader from Phoenix, AZ, shares his story. We’ll tell him how to get his ex back after his mistake!
Michael from Phoenix writes:
“I lost my girlfriend last week. She and I have only been dating for a few months, but I’ve never felt the same way about any other girl as I do about her. I made a stupid comment while we were eating out and she walked right out of the restaurant. She’s not talking to me, even when she sees me between classes. What can I possibly do to get her to see that I’m sorry for the dumb thing I said?”
I’m sorry to hear about your situation with your ex. Often times we think something we did was just a little thing, when in fact to the other person it was a big deal. This can happen in any relationship, but especially when you’ve only been dating someone for several months. There’s always a lot you don’t now about a girl this early on in a relationship, even if you feel like you’ve known her ‘for years’ as the case may be. Even after you have known a girl that long, there will always be things buried in her past you won’t know about. Indelicate remarks can do a lot of damage if they call up bad memories or old insecurities.
That being said, the first hurdle is how to get her to listen to what you have to say. I’m assuming you’ve tried calling out to her as she walks past you, showing up at her house, and calling her on the phone, right? If none of these direct methods work, your best option is probably to get in touch with one of her friends. Often a third party is more detached from the situation, even if her friend is likely to side with her. Since the friend isn’t the person you insulted, she’s more likely to actually hear you out, and also explain why your ex is so mad at you. Once you get a clearer impression of what’s really going on, you may know what to do about it.
If your ex’s friend sees how much you care, and how sorry you are about what happened, and realizes that you really want to understand why your ex left you, the friend will likely tell your ex about it. It’s always possible your ex still won’t want to talk to you, but it’s likely that respecting her friend’s viewpoint and opinion, she will be more open to the idea of hearing what you have to say—either by means of her friend or directly from you.
Persistence always helps too! If at first you don’t succeed, keep trying! Often times if a girl realizes that after weeks have gone by, or even months, and you still haven’t given up trying to apologize, that you really care about her. By this point she will hopefully have gotten some understanding of your side and acquired some perspective, and then she’ll be ready to work things out. Good luck, and let me know how it goes!
Your advice to Michael sounds great, but I wish I knew how to apply it to my situation. My boyfriend and I have had a good relationship for four years, and we’re still together, but it feels like we’re emotionally divided. When my feelings get hurt and I need to talk, he gets mad at me and tells me I’m annoying. He’s not really there for me. If I tell him I feel lonely though, then he lashes out at me and I feel lonelier still. How do I get my boyfriend back, even though our relationship is still technically ‘together’? It feels like he’s left me emotionally.
I broke up with my ex six months ago. Things were going really bad. When I left him, he begged me not to leave him, but I did because I thought it was best for us. A little after that, I realized I really missed him. After the brake up, we still kept seeing each other and talked about how we were going to get back even when he was already dating someone else. But then the love started to fade away in between our relationship. It was more like lust and pleasure. Last week, I told him to leave me alone and to stop talking to me. This is killing me though. I really want things to go back to the way they were . Help?
I wish it applied to men. My now ex…dumped me not too long ago. I was hurting, I was mad and I blew up at him and he’s held that against me…not to mention the fact that I was on a medication that totally made me wacko(it was prescription I used it correctly and am no longer on that medicine). All our mutual friends tell me to just forget about him, move on. But I love him and he still likes me. I’ve never felt the way he made me feel with anybody. I care about him, I love him, I miss him, I want him…and only him.