How To Get My Boyfriend Back
Did you just lose that special guy in your life? Don't give up hope! If you dumped your boyfriend and you decided that you made a mistake, that's OK.
Here is our advice to Michelle, a reader from Tampa Bay, on how to get her boyfriend back. Try to use these simple steps to make amends and hopefully be able to get your boyfriend back for good. It could work for you!
Michelle from Tampa Bay writes:
I just lost my boyfriend of three years yesterday!
It happened over an incident which to me feels like a misunderstanding … but I have absolutely no idea how to get him back.
When he makes a decision it is usually pretty final.
I thought our relationship was really stable, only to discover that it must have been on the edge for a long time.
I had no idea he was hurting so much, or that I was responsible.
I still don’t 100% understand what I did. All I want now is to show him that I love him and that I want him back in my life.
How do I get my boyfriend back?
Hi Michelle, to answer your question, communication is key. If your boyfriend isn’t talking to you, you might want to give him a few days to cool down.
After that though, it’s worth making the effort, even if you think he still doesn’t want to speak to you.
He may just be waiting to see if you’ll make the effort. It is important for you to discuss this with him, even if he still decides he doesn’t want you back, just so you both have closure.
So either way, make the effort. Often times a guy will be impressed if he realizes a girl cares enough to get through to him, no matter what it takes! So even if he says the decision is final, it doesn’t mean it necessarily is.
What you’re willing to do to get your boyfriend back in your life says a lot to him about your character, and also the depth of your feelings concerning him.
Once you’ve got his attention, the very first words out of your mouth should be “I’m sorry.”
The very next thing you should say is what you’re sorry for, and why you realize it was wrong. Without that, “I am sorry” are just empty words.
Your boyfriend needs to know that you have taken the time to figure out what you did wrong, and why it was hurtful—and that had you been in his position, you would have found it hurtful too.
And then of course you need to explain to him why you’ll never do it again.
Even if you don’t entirely understand how the fault was yours yet, if you are truly prepared to say you’re sorry, you should have time to figure out his point of view over the next few days while you are giving him his space.
Often times it just takes some time and distance to get a little perspective. In fact, even if you can’t figure out what you did for sure, figure out something you did wrong … and then apologize for that! It’ll show that you’re trying.
Explain to your boyfriend that you think there was a misunderstanding, and that you want to understand his point of view so that you can fix things.
Don’t accuse, even if you feel he had some responsibility in the situation. You can explain how the situation has hurt you, but be prepared to accept whatever fault was yours. Even his hurtful actions could have been the direct result of your own.
Finally, tell your boyfriend you want him back! This might seem like a given, but you’d be surprised how many girls just give up on this point.
At the same time, you want to convey that you are apologizing to him without any expectations.
In other words, convey that you understand and respect his choice, that you want to apologize because you were wrong, and not because you have ulterior motives—but that you do want him back.
Explain how much your time together has meant to you and why.
I also recommend watching this video if you want to get inside a man’s head and understand how he thinks.