How To Find The Perfect Girl
Are you tired of being single and searching everywhere to find “the one?” The trick to finding the perfect girl may be to accept that perfection is an illusion and find someone who you can love for who she is. After all, you’re hardly perfect yourself … are you?
Denis from Tulsa, OK writes:
“I feel like I’ve been single forever. I just want to find the perfect girl for me. I’ve always believed there’s just one perfect soul mate out there waiting for me somewhere, but I can’t seem to find her. Every relationship I have there’s always something wrong, something out of place, and I just can’t make it work. It shouldn’t be so much work, should it? Shouldn’t it “just work?” Why can’t I find a perfect girl?”
It’s nice to think that there is just one perfect person out there—but have you stopped and looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Are you perfect? Are you perfect physically, emotionally, mentally, and in all other respects? If your answer is yes—well, you’re never going to get a relationship to work. I’m sure you’re not that vain, though, and I’m sure you can list plenty of things about yourself you wish you could improve on. What matters is that you try. That’s a big part of what life is all about.
And that’s the case with other people too, and our relationships with them. All relationships that mean something take work, be they platonic or romantic. There’s no such thing as a perfect person for you because even you aren’t a perfect person! Plus, if someone were exactly what you wanted her to be, then wouldn’t you feel like you weren’t dealing with a real live human being? The person you can have a meaningful relationship with is a woman with her own mind and soul and unique dreams, hopes and fears—not a carbon copy of yourself, and not someone you’ve invented in your mind who even you probably can’t live up to. What you should look for is someone who like you, can try to be a good person and share your journey.
A lot of people are searching for someone perfect without trying to improve themselves. Why not strive to resemble your own ideal more? Instead of looking to someone else for strength and grace and love, why not learn to be stronger and have greater grace and love for yourself? As you work on improving yourself, you may attract the right girl without even trying—and you’ll be more likely to recognize her when she finally shows up. After all, you’ll be building maturity and growing as a human being, so you’ll be more likely to be able to appreciate the maturity and growth in someone else. She’ll also more likely to recognize it in you. So yes—relationships do take work, and there’s no getting around it. Even just being yourself takes work. Being with someone else takes even more.