First Date Tips
Once you’ve finally gotten that special guy or gal to say yes to a first date, you’re on your way—or are you? If anything, the pressure only increases at this point as you wonder whether you’re going to impress that special person or make a complete fool of yourself. How do you make sure that first date leads to a second one?
Hilary from Akron, IA writes:
“I finally got this boy to go out with me. I’ve been wanting to ask him for the past year, and I finally got up the courage and he said yes. I was totally excited but now I’m totally freaked out. What if I mess up? What if he realizes he doesn’t like me after he spends time with me and we actually talk? Can you give me some tips?”
Hello Hilary. There aren’t really too many universal tips on first dates, but there are a few things you can keep in mind. These things have changed over the years as dating roles have also changed. The tips are slightly different for men and for women, although there is still some definite overlap. One thing which has changed for example is how money plays into a first date. It used to be traditional for the guy to pay for everything; nowadays it’s increasingly common for you both to split the bill based on your own orders. Make sure you’re clear about this before you go out, or at the very least prepared to pay your own bill. If you ask in advance, the guy may be offended, but if you don’t, don’t make assumptions. If it becomes clear the guy is going to pay the bill, don’t order anything above the same price range he orders for himself.
Another tip which is important for the modern era is not to spend a lot of time on your mobile device. You may be used to gabbing away on Facebook and other social utilities while hanging out with your friends, but if you do this during a date, the guy will probably see several causes to question your character. On a related note, don’t gab too much about yourself: it’s a common complaint among the opposite sex that women talk too much about themselves. This isn’t a popular trait with guys. Ask the guy questions about himself and his life. Listen as much as you talk, if you can. After all, this is a chance for you to get to know this guy as much as it is one for him to get to know you!
Be polite and display a well-rounded character. Even if the guy you’re going out with isn’t a very serious person on the outside, he will still want to know the girl he’s thinking of dating is capable of being serious and presentable. At the same time, don’t be too uptight.
Finally, for your own sake as well as his, figure out where this may or may not be going—and communicate your own intentions clearly, even if you choose to do so through subtext. Figure out what the basis for this relationship is going to be, if there’s going to be one. Are you interested in having fun? Having a more physical relationship? Having a more intellectual relationship? Having a serious, long-term commitment? While you probably won’t actually talk this all out at this point, try to pick up indications and drop your own subtle hints. Good luck on the first date!