Does Online Dating Work?
More and more people are turning to the internet to find their next loved one, but a lot of people are nervous about getting started. Does online dating actually lead to results? How can you get to know someone long distance? How does that special “spark” come into existence when you can’t even see someone in person? Can online dating possibly even have some benefits which offline dating lacks?
Terrance from Provo, UT writes:
“I’m thinking of trying out online dating. I’ve been in the dating pool for years, but I haven’t had any luck in my home town. I just don’t know how to introduce myself to random strangers. I feel like I need some kind of a context, like a dating environment where other people are looking for dates too. From that point of view the internet makes a lot of sense. But usually I form an attraction to a woman based off of body language and other cues which I can’t pick up online. So does online dating work? Can it work for me?”
Online dating probably is better suited to some people than it is to others—but you are hardly uncommon in finding women attractive based off of physical cues. I think more people than not have the same feelings you do—and yet online dating is incredibly successful. Many couples, indeed many married couples, are meeting online these days. It’s becoming a very normal thing to do.
Lots of these people are no different than you. They were also probably very surprised to make a connection to someone online. Think about it, though—while attraction and a “spark” are important for finding someone, what’s even more important in the long term is being able to coexist with that person. You can find someone extremely attractive on first sight and impossible to live with in the long run. A lot of people find love online after choosing someone based off of the person behind the face—online it’s easier to learn about shared values, ideas, goals, and more. If there isn’t some kind of shared bond on that level, no relationship is going to last long. That’s why a lot of people who hook up with the wrong people offline again and again finally meet the right person online.
You may also end up surprised when you do start dating someone online and realize just how many subtle nuances about that person you can pick up long distance. Many couples exchange short messages throughout the day, which creates a kind of intimacy which is similar to that of living with a person. You’ll learn to detect moods and you may develop a stronger intuitive sense for a potential partner than you would offline!
So yes—online dating can work. It can even help you to grow as a person and look at different aspects of relationships than you previously have paid attention to. That in itself could lead to a more successful relationship in the future.
